Dark Shadows Episode 11

It's episode 11 and we're flying. Last time out Devil Child David delivered a few home truths to his dad and Caroline brought Burke of the Chin; whom she may or may not have slept with; home to meet the family. Oh, and Vicky W is upstairs, probably writing a letter. And that's where we're at.

I'm not embedding the episodes anymore, but you can watch it here if you like. 


So without further ado let's check in with the ever lovely Vicky W:

My name is Victoria Winters. Collinwood sits, as it has for almost 130 years, in brooding isolation on the crest of it's hill. The secrets of the past have not yet been opened to me, but I've come this far, and I must wait. It's a strange home for me, but even stranger for those who've spent their lives within it's walls.

...and I must wait... She's telling us that her story isn't going to move forward this episode, isn't she? Colour me shocked.

So, we open where we left off, with Caroline and Burke of the Chin on the doorstep and Lady of the Manor Elizabeth acting all shocked to see him. Caroline, seemingly oblivious to her Mother's distress, invites him in for a drink.

Nice place. I'll have it.

I'm not sure whether Elizabeth was going for intimidating or intimidated in this scene, but she definitely managed twitchy. Caroline on the other hand was like an excitable puppy and I'm not gonna lie, she's adorable.

Burke attempts to peddle the same pack of lies about holding no grudges and just passing through town because he was homesick that he fed to Caroline last week; Elizabeth isn't biting though. Both Elizabeth and Burke of the Chin tell Caroline that she talks too much in this scene, which makes me want to slap them, but Caroline seems unfazed. In fact, from the way she's doting on Burke, he definitely rocked her world back in his hotel room. At the very least he got a couple of fingers in there.

Anyway, the scene rocks to a big finish with Burke of the Chin finally getting that drink he was offered and Elizabeth essentially announcing her intention to interrogate him mercilessly. You go girl!

We'll have to wait for that though, because we're whisked off to the diner/bar/hotel/only regular set that isn't Collinwood, where Sam 'The Riddler' Evans is trying to get a drink from the dude on duty, who in turn is doing his damnedest to get some coffee down Sam's neck. Personally, I think her should leave Sam alone; he appears to have finally reached a level of drunken-ness that's allowed him to forget to only speak in riddles. Of course, now he's paraphrasing Shakespeare, but anything's an improvement.

Sam's having none of this coffee lark, until Hotel Dude entices him with sexual favo... sorry, news about Burke of the Chin. That get's his attention all right. Which kind of makes his assertion a couple of episodes ago that he wasn't interested in Burke and was just gonna sit back and take what came, essentially obsolete. But hey ho, that was ages ago, the audience is bound to have forgotten, right?

Hotel Dude tells Sam about Caroline's visit to Burke, which we already knew, and nothing else. Which means the viewer learns absolutely nothing new from the whole 4 minute affair, because economic storytelling was illegal in the 60's. All is not lost though, because we do at least get to watch a masterful bit of business as Sam convinces us that he's sipping coffee from a blatantly empty cup. That's acting.

This scene ends with Sam making an incredible leap of reasoning and deducing exactly what Burke is up to; despite not having been told anything that could possibly lead him to that conclusion, and being too blind drunk to make the connections if he had. Sloppy, Mr Writer. Very sloppy. He doesn't believe Caroline will be so daft as to take Burke up to the house though. Because that would be crazy talk.

To Collinwood! Vicky W is still upstairs. Possibly still writing her letter, possibly asleep, I'm not sure. She's definitely not practicing the drums though, I know that.

Elizabeth, in her own very subtle manner, has contrived to get Caroline away from Burke of the Chin to question her about his plans. Caroline tells her all about how she read his secret papers, but Elizabeth is all 'how do you know he didn't leave the papers there so you'd read it?', because she may be borderline comatose and possibly drunk, but she's not stupid. Even when Caroline brings up the so-called 'Venezuelan' phone call, Elizabeth is still not convinced. I'm liking this pragmatic Elizabeth; she's even managing to remember everyone's names on the first attempt.

Next up, Sam rings Collinwood, to speak to Creepy Roger, who isn't in the house, but while he's trying to ascertain where he is, he hears Burke's voice and, realising that he was wrong about Caroline not being insanely naive he slams the phone down in frustration.

Or  possibly terror. And I think maybe a touch of arousal.

Burke of the Chin, meanwhile, is making casual references, just in passing you know, to the value of Collinwood and how much it might fetch on the market and how in his experience everything is for sale for the right price and...what? No, he's definitely not out to take Collinwood, it's just small talk over drinks, don't be so suspicious!

I don't think she wants to sell

Back at the inn/discotheque/train station, Sam is back to talking in nonsense again. Check it out, this is legitimately how he tells Hotel Dude that Burke is up at the house;

SAM: He's there, I heard his voice!

HOTEL DUDE: Who? Burke?

SAM: The Trojan horse. The smiling gift, rolled into the stronghold and waiting to spread it's fear. And I will be the first victim of that fear.

A simple yes would have done mate. Just saying. But there's more!

SAM: It's too late! What there was to do, it's too late to do, and now all I can do is wait... or run!

I swear, melodrama was invented for this bloke.

Up at the house Burke is giving Elizabeth his best sob story, all about his poverty stricken father and his time in prison. She might not have been taken in with the Venezuelan business trip malarkey, but she does seem to be buying this; has pragmatic Elizabeth gone away already? Sadface.

Suddenly we're back in the hall and the phone's ringing again. A door opens upstairs, but no-one comes through it. Spooky!

 Caroline answers the phone; it's Main Squeeze Joe and she babbles to him a bit about how things are looking up, old troubles are over, and the ghosts are banished. Then Elizabeth appears and sends her off to find Roger; she's decided to bring Roger and Burke together. That's gonna end badly, for the definites.

Once Caroline's headed off to find Roger, and Elizabeth is back in the drawing room with Burke, the door upstairs closes, without us ever seeing who was there. Spooooooky! Although, to be fair, it was probably Vicky W debating whether that glass of milk she fancied was worth getting caught up in the nonsense.

And that's episode 11 done. Once more we have a tiny fraction of the cast, on just two sets. Also, once more, we have no Vicky W. The one trend I can deal with, the other not so much; she'd best be in the next episode or I'll be dispatching a strongly worded email.