Thursday, 8 August 2013

Strange Paradise Episode 5

When last we left the intrepid cast of Strange Paradise, Doc Carr had finally arrived at the island, but was as yet unaware of her sisters death and subsequent cryo-ing by her mad as a box of amphibious french starters husband. Meanwhile, Carr's shag pal and fellow traveler Forrest has grown suspicious of Jean-Paul, based not so much on his out of character behaviour, as on his having taken to signing documents with his evil ancestors name. Cos that would put the willies up anyone, am I right?

Join me now, as I take my sanity in my hands, and embark on a perusal of Strange Paradise, episode 5. ('Tis here, should you be so inclined)

We're straight into the action, as Jacques has a chat with Doc Carr about portraits. How do we know it's Jacques, and not Jean-Paul? Well, because he's leaning against the wall right next to the picture frame that houses the portrait of Jacques; the portrait that goes blank when Jacques is up and around. Sure enough, blank frame. Not that Doc Carr seems to notice. And to be fair, it's not that obvious...

Jacques does a bit of flirty banter (I think) with Doc Carr and rather than slap him across the face; because as far as she's concerned he's Jean-Paul, her sisters husband; she actually seems to be falling for it. Her fuck buddy Forrest is gonna be raging! Oh, and this is Jacques flirty face.

How could you resist?
After the titles Doc Carr announces that she's off to see her sister but Jacques tells her, and he doesn't mince words I can tell you, that her sister isn't upstairs sleeping; rather, she's down in the crypt, dead. Only temporarily though, he's quick to point out. So that's all right then, eh?

Doc Carr asks to see the body and he waves her off to the crypt, then heads on over to stare at the picture frame for a bit. Jacques pops back into the frame, Jean-Paul looks a bit queasy and then Doc Carr comes back pleading with him to hurry up and show her the way. Which right puts the shits up him, because he doesn't even know she's in the house. Possession is a bitch! Anyway, off they trot.

Doc Carr has a bit of a freak out when she passes Quito on the stairs, which is understandable I suppose, and then freaks out even more when she realises her Sister has been turned into a rocket lolly by Jean-Paul.
She no happy.
But then she hugs him for comfort! Come on woman, you should be kicking his head in! He had drinks with you in the bar then told you she was having a nap then tried to get into your knickers before he finally deigned to mention your sister was dead. Dude is a shady motherfunter!

Hmmm sexy master
In the lobby, Quito caresses the portrait of Jacques until Raxl appears on the stairs; she's still running her bath; and screams at him that his master is Jean-Paul, not 'that one' who 'belongs in the grave.' Then she stares at him for fucking ages because the director forgot how to say cut.

Downstairs Jean-Paul confesses to Doc Carr that sometimes he doesn't know what he's doing and it feels likes an outside power, an evil force, is driving him. All joking aside, it's good that this is coming out so early, when it could have been held off for weeks. It's just a shame that the actor is AWFUL; he puts Devil Child David of Dark Shadows fame to shame, and at least that kid has the excuse that he's, you know, a kid.

Didn't expect to see me here did you?
While he's making his big confession we keep seeing shots of the portrait. In case we didn't get it. Doc Carr looks a bit freaked out, which is becoming a habit, and then we get an ad break. So it's been fairly eventful so far.

When we come back, Jean-Paul gives Doc Carr, and us, the backstory on his wifes illness and death and it sounds like some proper exorcist level shit was going down. The series started with her clogs already popped of course, so we can't be sure. Maybe he's making the whole thing up.

Doc Carr tries to convince him that his cryo-fuckery is doomed to failure but he's having none of it and we get another line about how he's God on this island. I'm willing to bet that's gonna be important later. When she realises she's getting nowhere with that tack, she brings up his mood changes and how he had seemed like a totally different person earlier in the day. Nail on the head, m'dear! Oh, if only you knew!

Jean-Paul sends Doc Carr upstairs with Raxl to get settled into her room and this is usually were I would make a shallow joke about lesbian romps but I'm not going to because this is Raxl we're talking about and I don't know that that's a picture I want in my head. Once they're gone he has a pop at the painting about bringing Carr to the island. Turns out Jacques brought her back to the house purely because he fancies her. I have to say, I don't blame him. She has a certain...something. Jean-Paul calls Jacques a swine then runs off up the stairs and slams his bedroom door.

You know, like a stroppy teenager.

Ad break, and then we're back with Jean-Paul. He's back downstairs again, so I don't know what that last bit was in aid of. Dramatic little shit. Raxl appears and tells him that the Doctor from the pilot, who we haven't seen since and I for one had totally forgotten existed, wants to leave that night because he doesn't approve of all the weird shit that;s happening. Which is fair play. Jean-Paul heads off to convince him to wait until morning. His departure is Doc Carr's cue to reappear, in a fetching white nightgown and... what's this? Noooo!

Doc Carr interrogates Raxl about Jean-Pauls odd behaviour and Raxl tells her absolutely everything. Jacques being a murdering shit who lived 300 years ago, his being put under a voodoo curse, Jean-Paul breaking the curse by fucking with the doll and setting Jacques free...the works. Doc Carr doesn't believe a word of it of course.

Especially when she spreads her arms and starts speechifying.
While they're arguing they hear a scream, and about 30 seconds later they react to it. Heading to the front door they drag it open and peer out into the wet and windy night, to see what they can see, as we fade out to an ad break. When we come back, they're still there and they have this awesome exchange

Doc Carr: It's quiet now.

Raxl: Except for the wind. Which is always saying strange things.

Well, quite. Doc Carr is worried that someone may be hurt, and wants to investigate but Raxl is adamant that they shouldn't go outside and ushers her off to bed. Just in time, too, because here comes Jean-Paul and Quito, with the latter carrying the dead body of the aforementioned forgotten Doctor from the Pilot. He's had an accident, apparently. A likely story. Raxl wants to call the police but Jean-Paul, who is pretty obviously Jacques again, although fuck knows when that happened, tells her there is no need. He sends Quito down into the crypt to put the Doctors remains into his wifes coffin. She doesn't need it after all, what with her living in the freezer now.

Jacques sends Raxl off to bed with a wish of sweet dreams, and even blows her a kiss. See, he's not a total monster after all! Or is he? Once she's gone, he stands for a while looking like this

so, you know.

After a shot of the empty picture frame that lasts what must be almost 20 seconds, Jacques goes back into the frame and we see Jean-Paul asleep on the couch. As he tosses and turns we hear his dream, which is Raxl ranting at him about the devil. I don't know about you, but that doesn't really surprise me; that woman would give anyone nightmares. He jerks awake, has a bit of a rant at portrait Jacques and then we go into the credits. This show does like it's abrupt endings.

So we've had quite an eventful episode. Someone died, even if it was a character I'd forgotten existed, Doc Carr is up to speed with what's going on even if she doesn't fully believe it, and we know that Jacques fancies her. More than enough to be going on with.

The constant shifting between Jacques and Jean-Paul is getting a bit wearying, but other than that I'm finding the relatively fast pace refreshing. All they need to do is keep Doc Carr in her nightie and kill off Raxl and they'll have a fan for life!

Join me next time when some weird shit will happen, we'll get lots of close ups of a picture frame and Raxl will shout at the sky. I can't wait.

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